Summer 2013 - Leaving Florida

Summer 2013. A summer I'll most likely always remember, but not with fondness. It was the summer that very nearly broke me, and in some ways probably did.

There is so much to write that I am going to do it in 3-4 parts.  I know,  I haven't blogged in almost 4 months. I haven't had a computer in that long, just my iphone. And lets be honest, blogging from an iphone is not really all that awesome. Not to mention that I have been overwhelmed in every way. From packing up my house in Orlando, to finding new home in CA to moving in and getting settled. Single mom-ing it the whole way, no husband around. It was rough, very very rough. I'll tell the story of this summer, just so that if we ever get an idea like this in our heads again I can read this and remind myself of how much I never want to do this again. And also, to one day show my kids, that life takes a whole lot of work, & sacrifice. I hope, in this case, it will all be worth it someday.

It all started with Ben leaving in May. To go work around the clock in Chicago and get this company up off the ground. An amazing opportunity for them and their company. But, also meant that at the end of the summer, he would have a fully funded company based in Silicon Valley CA and that we needed to be there. sigh. It meant that I would be moving our family, without him. He would be finishing sometime in September and I wanted to be there before the school year started to get us settled and make the transition a little easier on the kids.

So he left. For the first few weeks life was okay. The kids and I had a pretty good routine, we got chores done, we ate meals, we did homework, we went swimming, I got my workouts in...things were going well. Then the packing began.

I knew it would take me 2 weeks to get my house all packed up, because that is what it has taken the last 2 moves...3 moves in 3 years for us. Ugh. So I started. I made a master plan of what needed to be done to get it all done in time. And then each day I followed that plan. It worked...but it wore me out. Completely. It seemed I would get up at 6, take kids to their Tri team practice. Come home. Pack for several hours. Then do something fun with the kids, get them fed, do laundry, dishes all the regular stuff. Put kids to bed and then return to packing until 1 or 2 in the morning. There were many nights that I felt like I couldn't go another day. I was drained. Completely. Mentally & physically exhausted. Alone. About to have a nervous breakdown. And so much work to do. My entire body was in pain from everything, and I kept having horrible back spasms. Everyday I just kept praying that my back & body would hang in there just until I got the place boxed up. Fortunately, it did.

Now, knowing all this. Let me tell you something. I have THE BEST friend in the entire world. Her name is Amy Hillis. I love that woman. She is the best and would do anything for anyone anytime. For instance. That breaking down time I was just talking about, was while she was away on vacation.  She was home for a total of 24 hrs. at the end of that week and first thing she did was call me to see what I needed. I was beyond desperate and told her so. Next thing I knew, she had her girls watching my kids almost every day, she came right over and helped me get things boxed up, she bought me lunch, dinner, and then called to make sure I had help every single day. She then had to leave to help at a camp for the weekend. But believe you me, on Monday she was right back at my house. Packing my kitchen, buying me lunch. Making sure there was a place for my kids to go. She was a life saver. An absolute life saver. I never would have made it through that without her. She went the extra mile and then some to help me out. Like I said, I love that woman. I always say she is my other half, that we were sisters just born on opposite sides of the country. Love her forever.

She was there every day after that. Each day we tackled the list of things to do, Goodwill trips to make, rooms to clean, things to haul away. She was there to wrap up the mattresses and take apart beds. I tell you, this woman is amazing, and a godsend. She was there the day the movers came. My stuff was being put onto a trailer, that would then be stored in CA until we found a home there. So far we had had zero luck in securing a home. No one wanted to rent to us, whether it was because we were a start up company, or they hadn't met us or whatever, we kept getting rejected. It was a headache.

Anyways, trailer arrived, movers came to load the truck. They were buttheads from the start. You should know that I got rid of 50% of my stuff when we moved because I knew we were moving to a much smaller place. Anyone who saw my pile of boxes and furniture would tell you I had very little to be moved. So these guys show up, they see my stuff and immediately tell me the job is too much and there is no way they can pack it all. Bunch of lies. They go sit their butts out on my street doing who knows what until I go tell them I am not paying them until they start loading the truck. Well then they got to work and had the truck loaded in under 4 hours, and that was them moving very slowly. They had originally told me it would take them at least 5 hours with several more guys that I would have to pay them extra for. Buttheads. Aaaaand as you will find out out later it turns out these guys ruined most of my stuff and that if I lived near them they would all have slashed tires.


It was funny though, the truck got loaded, and as it pulled away, I had this image in my head of the truck falling over and the thought came to me if I would be okay if all my stuff got lost/destroyed. And after thinking for a moment I thought, yes I'd be okay. Just know that that was definitely the spirit warning me of things to come. So, I said goodbye to my stuff as it pulled away in a 20 ft trailer. I then finished cleaning out my house, final mopping and wiping things down. And then I said goodbye & went to Amy's house.

We stayed with her after we moved out of the house for almost a week. She made sure everything was 100% comfortable for us, even got a sitter for her dog since she knows James is terrified of them. I tell you, she is the most thoughtful person I know. Once the truck was gone, & both cars were shipped out. It was time to have a bit of fun as we said good bye to FL, So we spent a day at the beach. after being there just over an hour we were down poured on. We all tried to fit under a tiny umbrella, but that wasn't working out for anyone really. The kids loved it and danced around in it & we all had a good laugh. That night I went for a good long run, and then we ordered take out from Outback. We sat there late at night eating delicious steaks and just having a great time. Sunday we spent the day making soups & lasagna and talking and going to someone else's goodbye party. It was a very fun day. It seemed we stayed up every night talking until the middle of the night when we could no longer keep our eyes open.

Monday we did hair. Lots of it. We highlighted her daughters hair and it was a blast. The girls looked lovely and it was great to be doing something that was NOT packing. Just girly good fun. That night we had a girls night out with the ladies of the ward. It was fun talking to all of them and being able to say goodbye to everyone I love so much.

The next day I went on a final run with my good friend, author, & running partner, Jessica Martinez. I love this woman. She is amazing. Another sister to me. We could talk about anything, and everything. And she always helped me keep my pace. I was so sad to say goodbye to her, but glad I got one last run in with her. After our run, Amy and I took the kids to Rock Springs. It was a park where the water is perfectly clear, perfectly. And you rent tubes and just float on down the river. The one place in FL where it is safe to be in water cause they have people all along the way watching & the water is so clear you could see anything in there. My kids and I loved it. We all loved it. Amy and I laughed until we couldn't breathe about something ridiculous. James Harrison and Sophie went down the springs over and over with their friends and it was simply a perfect day.

I don't remember if I left the next day or not, but the night before I left I made rolls. My other bestie/sister from FL, Carmen, came over with her girls bringing bags of goodies. And we sat up the entire night eating warm delicious rolls, enjoying yummy treats, talking, laughing folding laundry and packing things up for me. I don't even remember what time we finally went to bed, but it was somewhere around 3. I love that memory. Just talking all night, with my very best friends. Friends who have taught me so much. I tell you what, these women taught me what it means to be a good mom, a loving wife, a great friend, and a strong woman. I can't tell you how many times they were there for me. Or all the things they helped me see clearly. Or the number of times we talked and talked and talked and laughed and laughed. Carmen was another running buddy & best friend. She is 100% amazing. She and I ran nearly every Saturday, along with Jess, the entire time I lived in FL. We never ran anything shorter than 10 miles, so that tells you how many miles we put in together, and how much time we spent together. How many conversations we had. I hold these women close to my heart. They are sisters to me, and saying goodbye to them was impossible.

I stayed up the night, getting everything 100% ready to go. Kids backpacks ready for the flight, all our stuff packed up, or shipped. Every door in FL closed. All Goodbyes said. I actually hadn't cried much in all this. Here and there a couple tears, but I felt like I was too stressed out to even feel any real emotions. Morning came, and it was time to go. Amy and I piled the kids in the car, our 8 bags of luggage plus 4 carry-ons and we left. Got to the airport. Hugged, started to cry, but caught ourselves and said goodbye. I still held it together as I pushed a giant cart of luggage through the airport dragging 3 kids along with me, got us all checked in and bags checked. Got us through security, kids and all. And finally got us all on the plane and settled in our seats. The plane pulled away and headed toward the runway.

It was then, as the plane took off that my emotions finally boiled over. I looked out my window, watched as FL slipped past me and then suddenly the tears wouldn't stop. Every fun & beautiful memory I had of this place flashed before my eyes and my heart broke. My tears turned to sobs and I couldn't control it. I was leaving my home, the place my heart belonged and the people I had come to call family. My heart broke, and broke, and broke.

 Ben Leaving for Chicago. Goodbye Love, see you in September, on the other side of the country, in a new home, a new state, with a new life. Good luck to us both.

 Harrison had a Birthday. That little preemie miracle turned 7 yrs old. How did that happen? Also, can you guess what his favorite animal is??

 The Bday cake we ordered was NOT purple and pink with white polka dots, but that is what was delivered. oh well, he was still happy with it.

 This picture just doesn't do a FL rainstorm justice. That's out my front door. The street becomes a lake and all around your house is a water fall. I miss those rainstorms. Every afternoon.

 Twice a week James and I would bike 12-14 miles together. I loved it. I loved spending that time with him. Unfortunately my bike was stolen just before the move, so we haven't gone biking in a while. But I'll be honest, the bike was a piece of crap, so I wasn't too sad. 

 A day at the beach. Warm. Beautiful. And Fun.

 The boys never got tired of the water. Ever. Whether it was body boarding, or jumping waves, they were having a good time.

 James and his Best friend and athlete Trey. These boys were awesome together. They played football together in the school year and then were teammates on the tri team. Good boys. Good friends.

 My boys and their Tri Coach Morgan. I tell you what. This women is a phenomenal coach & woman. She is so great with those kids and so inspiring. She really helped them improve physically by constantly encouraging them.  My boys loved tri team. She ended every practice with a prayer. She was a blessing to us and to our family. We miss her!!!

 Just one room of boxes....there were many more. Ugh.

 Maddie Hillis. With my kids. They love Mads. I love Mads. She is a very good mama to them. But still a super cool friend.

 Hair Highlights!

 Told you that water was clear.

 There's Annie Hillis. She was/is such a great friend to James. They went on so many adventures exploring the neighborhood and making a fort and talking about their worries. My friend Amy told me Annie is still praying for James to make friends because she knows he was worried about that. Is there anything sweeter??

And off we go...sniff sniff. We'll be back. We will.