My beautiful Little Boys

I remember before Ben and I got married and we were deciding whether or not to wait a while before having kids. We of course prayed about it, and I remember just knowing that a little boy was waiting to come to our family. I knew that we were going to have a honeymoon baby. And we did. James was born 2 days before our 9 month anniversary. I still can see his cute little face all scrunched up the first time I held him. He looked just like his dad. As soon as he was born Ben said "I hate to say this but he looks just lke me. And he did. It was so unreal to be holding my baby. I almost didn't know what to do. then he started to cry, and cry, and cry. He was hungry and I knew exactly what to do. I had never nursed before and was somewhat scared to do so. But I just wanted to feed my sad little hungry baby. So I did, and yes he was hungry. I loved that time with James. It was just him and I. I would take him for walks every day. Usually several times a day. We would be so excited at every little thing he did. The day we brought him home from the hospital he rolled right over, no problem. He was always very physically advanced. He was sitting up at 3 months, crawling at 6, and walking at 9 months. He seemed to grow up so fast. He was always my little bud though, and still is. I love it when he comes to me in the morning and says "good morning sunshine" or when he says "mom, you can come rock me if you want" or "mom you can come play with me if you want". I am often trying to get some laundry folded or clean up the lunch mess or whatever chore that needs to be done, and then I think to myself "you know, one day he won't want me to come play with him, these days are numbered" So we go build some legos, or color, or sit in his room rocking in that chair and singing all the primary songs we know.
When James was about one year old I was once again baby hungry. I felt that it was time once again and that this time it was a girl. I was so positive it was a girl. The pregnancy was 100% different than last time, and I kept having dreams about a little girl. So when the day of the ultrasound came and we were told it was boy I was shocked. I seriously couldn't even believe it. I watched the ultrasound like 10 times to remind myself that I was having a boy. I was very grateful that everything looked well and that he appeared to be healthy, but I will admit I was a little sad that I wasn't getting my little girl. To get myself excited about boy #2 I made the cutest baby boy blanket ever. then I got a few new little boy outfits and a little green striped gown for him to come home in. 5 weeks before Harrison was supposed to arrive he stopped moving. 100% stopped. I told myself that this was normal and that he would start moving soon. By the evening there was still no movement. I sat on the couch sobbing as Ben made me call the DR. He of course told us to go straight to the Hospital. We went, I was sure at this point that we had lost the baby, but to my great relief the found the little guys heartbeat. Well, things went downhill from there. his heartbeat would not stay steady. It kept dropping. Until about 4 am his heart rate dropped to be almost non existent. I remember laying there hot tears streaming down my face as nurses, doctors, respiratory therapists were running in and out of the room. They were getting me ready for a C-section, and then his heart rate jumped right back up. So they decided to just watch and see what happened. This went on for several hours. his heart was fine and then dropped and then fine and then dropped. finally the Dr came and asked Ben and I what we thought we should do. We decided to go ahead and have the baby, and be ready for a c-section at the first sign of trouble. It was such an easy and fast labor. He came extremely fast, with only a little heart trouble during. He gave one little squeak when he came out, but then stopped. The room was packed with Medical people, and they immediately began to work on him. They had to resuscitate him and got him breathing, but he was still having a hard time breathing on his own. The nurse, Carol who has helped with both my deliveries, brought him over to me quickly and told me they were taking him to the NICU but that I could see him for a moment. I remeber seeing his beautiful face. He was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. He was so tiny. I have never been filled with so much love for something as I was at that moment. I told him he was beautiful, that i loved him, and to be strong. Then they took him to the NICU. He was strong, we took him home 5 days later. Ben would stay up all night and watch Harrison, to make sure that he was okay. And he was. You would never know that he had struggled in the beginning if you saw him now. He is our little joy. We called him our angel baby. He was so sweet, and still loves to be held and loved. He is also a tease. I always have said that he as a little twinkle in his eye. He loves to laugh and loves to make you laugh. And that blanket I made him has been in his bed since the day we brought him home. Now he won't sleep without it. He calls it "deedee". He just laughs when you bring it to him. James and him have become very good friends, yeah they fight ovevr this toy or that, or harrison broke my lego set or whatever. But Harrison loves fuzzy things, and James has very fuzzy crazy hair. So when Harrison would get sad James would lay his head in Harrison's Lap and let Harrison just pull the heck out of it. I always thought that was so sweet of James. He also takes care of Harrison. James will find his sippy cup for him or his blanket or his froggy, or whatever it is that Harrison wants. the two boys love each other, though they drive me absolutely crazy, I love them more than anything. They are my joy. I love seeing them play together and laughing together and being mischievous together. I am sure they will continue to get into all sorts of trouble as they get older, but what fun memories I will have when I am older.
Last week our neighbor took some pictures of James and Harrison. He took several, but I thought I would post a couple of them. We only got 2 shots of them together, and neither is great. Harrison was tired of getting pictures. But the others are so cute, i love my little boys.