Sick Little James

This past week has been extremely hectic. Mostly because James has gotten pretty sick, Ben has broken his arm while playing Basketball, and Harrison just wants to be held because no one is playing with him. Makes for little time to do anything besides try and keep up. But that is okay because as I have learned many many times, this too shall pass. So, while the laundry is piling up, the dinners are boiling over and burning, and the floors look awful, I have noticed something. As most of you know, James can be the sweetest most golden little kid there evevr was, but there is also the other side. He can throw a pretty good tantrum. And since the weather has turned cold and the kids are not playing outside as much, the tantrums are showing up more often than usual. I have really been struggling with how to deal with them. He is extremely strong willed, and very energetic, and when he gets really upset it is hard to know what to do. I want my kids to be good kids, who doesn't want that though? I want them to listen, to obey, to be good, to be happy, to enjoy life. I want them to know that there are consequences to every decision they make, whether it be good or bad. I want what every mom wants I guess. So when I see him do something that I don't like, I tend to freak out about it, not really but sort of. Not because I am angry at him, just because I want him to learn, but it often comes out in anger. And he will often get angry back, which leads to a battle of wills....and I never really know how it ends, but it always makes me sad. So anyways, during this time that he has been really sick I have noticed that he has been extremely good. He has been so sweet, and thoughtful. Always saying thank you, and telling me he loves me and obeying me even when he doesn't want to, like telling him he has had enough TV for the day, and he just turns it off. I haven't had any problems with him. So, I started to wonder why. Maybe it was because he was sick and didn't have as much energy as usual...that didn't really make a lot of sense. But then I realized that I had been spending a lot more time with him, and had been much more caring and conscious of his needs than I usually am. That I was much much more patient with him than I usually am. I realized that his attitude often is just reflecting my own, and if I want to teach him all the things that I want to teach him, and to be the person that I hope him to be, that I need to be that person as well. I need to demonstrate the qualities that I am always teaching him about, but then yelling at the guy that just cut me off, or yelling at my kids for breaking this or that thing in the house. Yeah, they need to learn not to break things, and all that stuff. I just need to teach them in a much more loving way than I often do. My neighbor and I were visiting the other day and her little girl is a lot like James. She and I were having the same struggles with our kids and she later made the best point. She said that with her son, she was not required to change really. He was very mild mannered, but that her daughter has changed her. Because of her daughter, she has had to learn to be more patient and loving and change how she does things. I had had a similar thought a few days before that. I always pray for help to be a good mom, and I always pray for more patience, especially with James. Heavenly Father can't just give me more patience, I have to learn to be patient. I realized that he has just given me that opportunity to learn to be more Christlike. Anyways, reading this email makes it sound like James is this all bad kid, but he isn't. He has a heart of gold. truly he does. He has said the sweetest things I have ever heard kids say. He really wants to be good, he just has a strong will which one day will do him a lot of good and give him the drive to do amazing things in his life. I just need to help guide that will with love instead of anger.