The Night Before

So tonight is the night before my Salt Lake Half Marathon. I have to leave here at 5 am which means I will be getting up at 4 am..shower..make sure I have everything I will need, eat a banana and a cliff bar. But I wanted to write about how I am feeling tonight. Surprisingly, mostly to myself, I am really nervous. I don't know why though, I have run 13 miles and more on several occasions. I have been running distances longer than that since last fall....So why am I nervous? Why is my stomach full of butterflies? Why do I feel like I am going to be sick? And why do I feel like I am going to break down and cry if I think about the race? This isn't even the full marathon...that is in one month!!! :) I expect to be nervous for that. Today when I went to the runner's expo in SLC and picked up my number and packet. They took my timing chip and held it up to a computer and then there was my name on the screen with my numer 5225. To my immense surprise I suddenly got emotional. I had to hide myself for a second so that no one would notice because I was so embarrassed. I mean, it was just my name on a stupid computer. But as I sit here and think about it all, I think about how running a marathon was one my dreams and how I have never been a great runner. In elementary school I was always one of the last to finish running the lap around the gym, I usually walked a lot of it. I think about how in High School I couldn't even run around the school once without having to walk. I think about how running has always been a weakness for me. And then I think about how last year I dreampt about running and I was weightless and could run forever. So I started running. And now, after how many mornings of getting up before the sun even thought about coming up, and running through the freezing, freezing cold. Running even when my legs wanted to fall off. Running when I thought the wind was going to blow me off the road, running when it was snowing so hard I couldn't keep my eyes open. Running when I only had 2 hours of sleep. Running no matter what. No matter what it took, I ran. No matter how painful, cold, hard, steep, slippery, miserable, tired, exhausted, or how far, I ran. And now I am here. THe Half Marathon is tomorrow. My first big race. In one month I will run the Ogden Full Marathon. I am excited to see what the morning will bring.