The First 22 Weeks

Well here I am 22 weeks along, and today we had the Ultrasound. I was so anxious and nervous and it that I didn't go to sleep until 5 am this morning, and here I am at 11:30 still wide awake and happy as could be that I don't even care how tired I should be.  I seriously could be dancing around the house I am so excited because I am getting my little baby girl. The very first view we had of our baby was of her long legs and the obvious lack of boy parts.  And then the DR, hey I think we are having a girl mom and dad! I, of course, was crying and have been crying pretty much all day, out of joy, not sadness. Everything on the Ultrasound looked 100% great. She kept her little hand by her face the whole time and one time when she moved her head I swear her profile looked just like Harrison. I guess we will see in 17 weeks (I will be induced at least a week early).

As soon as the ultrasound was done the phone calls began and every time I told someone I got all choked up...sheesh I am SO emotional these days! Then it was time to tell the boys. Harrison had no clue what we were talking about, but James, he knew. And he has known since before this baby even existed that we were having a girl next. When Harrison was about 1 James started asking about where his little sister was and when was she going to come to our house. And once I got pregnant he has been 100% insistent that this baby was a girl. I love that he was right. It makes me think that he knows this little sister of his and that they will have a very special bond. I can't wait to see those two interact and grow up together. 

After picking up the boys it was time for shopping. Oh yeah baby. We went to Target, I got the cutest little dresses and night gowns and onesies, and then it was off to Wal-Mart where I got some more onesies and some other little things. Ben was just as excited as I was. As we shopped he kept picking cute things out and asking me if it was okay if he got her some things too. I told him I would love him to pick some things out for her. Yeah this baby is going to be 100% spoiled, that is for sure.  And now tomorrow my sister and I are going to go to a bunch of other stores. 

So, I want to recap the past 22 weeks of this pregnancy....I guess we will start from the beginning. Or before the beginning really. Since Harrison was born I have been extremely nervous about having another baby. We came so close to losing that little guy, he was premature, his heart rate was only at 30 beats/min, once he was born he wasn't breathing and  it was pretty much the most traumatic thing to see them resuscitate him, and I just know that he was a little miracle baby and seriously, not a day goes by that I don't look at him and thank heavenly father for letting me keep him.  So I have been nervous because who knew what to expect with the next one. What if it didn't turn out so well? I could never deal with that. And whenever Ben and I prayed about having kids, well it was most definitely a no answer. So we figured that we were probably done and actually were looking into adopting (which still will happen one day, I need my little black babies) .  So then I was very surprised this summer when I had the strongest feeling that there was a little baby ready and waiting to come to our family.  Ben felt the same way and one month later (yeah we have NO problem getting pregnant), we were expecting baby #3. 

I remember knowing that I was pregnant before I even took the test. I was sick from day one and that didn't even start to go away until week 13. Seriously I wanted to die. If I ate, I was sick, if didn't eat I was even sicker, and everything was always spinning, always. I was nauseous the entire time and it just never went away no matter what. It was awful. I swore this was definitely the last time I was ever doing this. I pretty much lived on the couch while the boys and I watched little einsteins or other cartoons. The house was...trashed...completely trashed. I seriously think I just got all the crayon off the walls from those early months of letting the boys run wild while I died.  Ha!

 I ate a million eggs, cottage cheese and peanut butter sandwiches.  Everyday I would have to seriously sit and think about what I could possibly eat that wouldn't make me absolutely sick and then I would have to eat it right then before it started to sound gross. We ate out a lot! I only cooked 2 meals in 6 weeks. Yep, slacker. But then I realized how much we had spent on eating out I about had a heart attack and have been cooking the meals since, no matter how sick I do or don't feel.  Oh yeah I forgot, I got heart burn from day one, which I have never had before. For those of oyu that have seen Juno she says "I have heart burn that is radiating in my kneecaps" And I always thought she was exaggerating, but nope, I know exactly what she was talking about. And that was exactly how I described it.  Also, peeing all night is never fun. That still goes on though, so oh well. 

During this time, the only time when I felt like a human being was when I was running. It made no sense to me, but I was grateful to find some relief.  So I actually ran quite a bit. I would be sick right before I ran and during the first few miles, but then it would go away and I could just enjoy my run. But as soon as I was done, well about 10 min later, I would once again be sick. Ugh. So I kept up about 35 miles/week during the first 2 months, During August and September I ran 3 half marathons.  But am now only running about 25 miles a week. A few weeks ago I went on my usual saturday run. I ran 10 miles. I felt fine the entire way, but once I got home I started having serious labor pains. Full on hard contractions.  Yeah. So I run shorter runs and that seems to be okay.

 I love running. As you all know. But I have especially loved it during this pregnancy because that is when I feel closest to my baby. During each run I have sensed her presence and knew that it was a baby girl. I felt like she enjoyed running with me. I still feel that way. Every day when I run I feel like she is there, cheering me on almost. I know I am crazy, but that is how it has been.  I have known we were having a girl, but just in case I was wrong didn't want to get too excited about it. These were my reasons for knowing, well part of me just knew and that is just that. The fact that james insisted that it was a girl made me think he knew as well. Aslo, my dreams have been insane. Seriously. I have had a different emotional drama high school soap opera every night. It is just how a young girl thinks and feel about guys, crushes and all the drama that goes with it. At first I didn't realize why I was having these dreams but then I thought, oh yeah I have a girl inside me with all her emotional crazy hormones developing, That's where these dreams are coming from. Also, I have been extremely emotional this entire pregnancy. I cry at the drop of a hat. When we went to Disneyland, I cried when we got there and the boys were so excited. I cried again when we went to Wall-E and saw the Disneyland castle because it reminded me of our trip and how fun it was. Yeah, a little over the top, that is for sure.

I remember the very first day that I wasn't sick. Ben's brother's wedding. I felt good the entire day and I was very grateful for that. However, the next day made up for it. But after that it seemed like I would get a day here and there where I was feeling good until finally I was feeling good most of the time. Since then things have been pretty good. I got a really bad cold from running in the rain at the start of October.  It lasted 2 weeks and I coughed so hard I tore some muscles in my abdomen and that wasn't much fun. But once it was over and I could sleep again, life was good. 

Since then things have been really good. I feel the baby move all the time now. ( i LOVE that) I have felt her since week 14 and she has just gotten stronger. Ben felt her move at about week 18, and she kicked James' hand last week. He thought that was great. I have a lot of energy these days, I am able to keep the house clean, make dinners, take care of fun little boys, run and still get to take a short nap each afternoon. I actually really enjoy naptime, not because I get to nap but because James always sleeps by me in my bed.  I love that time with him. We always read stories and then he just starts talking and telling me about everything and makes me laugh. He asks question after question and I always am amazed that he is actually my kid. He is so good. He has a heart of pure gold and really really tries hard to be a good kid. I love that about him.  And then of course he always cuddles up next to me and then we nap for a little bit.

 I love being a mom. Seriously. I love my little boys and I am so excited to be having  this baby girl.  I know she will be so loved by her brothers, her dad and everyone else. When I first found out I was pregnant I remember feeling so close to her. Knowing that she was a very special and sweet spirit. I fell 100% in love with her from day one. I can't wait to hold her. I can't wait to see her little face. I can't wait to show her to James, to let him hold her. To see how Harrison reacts to this new baby in our home. See what he thinks about her. I can't wait for Ben to hold her, to fall completely in love with her and have her wrapped around his finger. I can't wait to give birth to her. I have decided to do this one naturally. In the hospital for sure, but just no pain meds. I am scared about that a little bit but with ben there helping and supporting me through it, I know I will make it. I will most likely scream, but I will make it. And then, I will get to hold my beautiful baby girl Sophie.